what does it all mean?

i want to tell you all about a dream i had. one that when i woke up the next morning, was as vivid as if it had really happened, quite literally a day or two earlier.


i'm not one that has noticed signs. it's not that i don't believe in them, i've just never constructed moments in my life to foreshadow things to come - or conversly, things that have happened.


there are those that see dreams as a sign, or as some significant meaning. and after this last dream, it makes me wonder if my outlook should turn to include dreams as signs.


background first. my paternal grandfather passed away in october of 2007 of stomach cancer. it was a whirlwind - literally 9 weeks from diagnosis to passing. in april we (my family - the soon-to-be-missus, dad, stepmother, aunts & uncles) flew back to nebraska for his memorial with his surviving brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews (another post for another time i suppose). he was cremated, by the way, and we had to wait for the ground to thaw. so that brings us to the other night where i had the most peculiar dream.


important details:


-setting: church/reception hall - except all the seating was outside
-weather was mostly nice, however it changed (will describe)
-was sitting in the back row, with a space empty next to me. and my dad, i think, sitting on the other side of that open space.
-i can't say for sure what the event was, but i do know that we were all dressed very well - wedding, anniversary party, funeral/memorial - something along those lines.

the dream really started with me staring at the blank space, hearing chatter in th background - nothing specific. i was even turning to take part in the conversation - but again, nothing that i can remember. i do remember wondering why there was the space and why my dad and i weren't sitting next to eachother. the next thing i know there is a large panic coming from the general audience. looking around i see nothing, but i do hear "there is a storm coming." turning my head to look beyond us i see two things: the clouds, dark and ominous, coming closer and my now departed grandfather, sitting in the empty seat, a huge grin on his face and looking dapper in a fancy suit with his signature flat top.

i remember running to him. arms wrapping around him as i got there. i begged and pleaded with him to come, to move out of the way of the storm with the rest of us, but he wouldn't budge. the soon to be missus was pulling me, asking me to hurry and move out of the way of the storm. my grandfather, content as a bug, sat there, not budging - even somewhat shaking me off as if to say "all is fine, you go, i want to stay here."

the rest is a blur, or even non-existant. but i'm curious as to what it means. was it my way of finally letting go or of saying goodbye? i'm perplexed.

for all 1.6 of you that read this you may, or as is most likely the case, may not know that i have a new(er) "job." i'm hesitant to call it a career because i'm pretty sure that i will not be making a career out of what i am doing now - it's merely a stepping stone to a greater calling for me. new skills being learned that i can apply to what i ultimately want to do.

i enjoy the job i do - to a greater extent. i find problems with it on a daily basis, but if we're being perfectly honest, what my job consists of is largely administrative, while the good skill building is quite a bit smaller. roads are being paved to make it less administrative and more fulfilling, but it will take a bit of time to get out "of the jungle and into the desert" - so to speak.

because of this, i have to take quite a few matters into my own hands (i'll get to why). i really have to drive this road myself, it's actually 100% expected of me to do so. and if i don't, i'm out of a job. hell, even if i do, i still may be out of a job (which is also a part that explains the "great extent").

with that said, i need help. it dawned on me today that i need help in learning how to do the fun stuff around here and to put it rather bluntly, my team can only help so much. i have a mentor, so to speak, but by in large, i could use more time with him. my management group is less than helpful in providing tools, but very helpful in providing motivation. what is it that i need help with you ask? well, background would probably help first, eh?

so, i am on a contract at a rather large...well, at what i think is the great state of washington's largest employer. my job consists of making sure that my group of recruiters is in government compliance (thank you ofccp) - that is the administrative part and it is rather easy. the other part of my job is sourcing. and to be quite honest up until recently i was mortified of doing it. what if i sourced the incorrectly? what if what i was providing my recruiters were all shit candidates? how do i discern buzzword heavy resumes from resumes with some meat and potatoes? on top of that, i'm in a tech heavy field. i know nothing, wait. no. knew. i knew nothing about systems engineering, software development, systems architectures, etc etc. needless to say, i'm learning quickly.

coming full circle, that's the type of help i need. i need to be pointed in the direction of blogs or books that will help me learn the recruiting world. i'd like it to be as industry specific, however, i don't want to limit myself. i think learning how to find great talent should be first and i'll learn the business (tech in general) as i go.

so please, if you know of anything, please comment. be it blogs. personal experience. what have you. i'm asking nicely.

revisiting

i'm revisiting the oompa loomp vs munchkin question.

thank you laura for your insight and comment in the last post. i would tend to agree with you; an oompa loompa would definitely win the fight, convincingly. so much so that vegas would be afraid to even put odds down.

but i can't agree that they'd win because of your reasoning.

"The answer is obvious. The Oompa Loompa would win because they reproduce
asexually within seconds and could overwhelm even the largest population of
munchkins."

yes, the answer is obvious. but it's because oompa loompas are fatter. wait. no. thicker. look, you try to tell me that you live in a (ponders whether to curse...............) fucking (my dirty mouth wins) chocolate factory and doing chocolate factory chores - most of which i'm assuming consist of stirring and tasting and carrying bags of corn syrup, cocoa, and food coloring - and you're not going to be abnormally large? plus they sing songs that are borderline demonizing (read dark). and by all accounts don't get laid - major rage. meanwhile, these little munchkin things live in a land of make-believe, just kidding, more like a dream land. they walk crooked. sing happy go lucky songs. probably have munchkin sex (how's the for a nice thought) and strictly from what i've seen, don't eat anything (which, makes me ponder how the hell dorothy made it to oz, you know she was hungry).

no contest - the bigger, more angry group wins.

i don't know. maybe i think about these things too literally?

Points of interest, today.

who would win in a fight? an oompa loompa or a munchkin?

also, my favorite quote of the day: "i don't know about you, but seeing carrie fisher as princess leia was the moment i realized i was a boy" - i know too many people that can relate to that.

it has been a rather slow day in my eyes, so not a lot to write about (this is where i make my "faithful reader" quip). meh.

/goes back to playing packrat

things I miss...

blogging. really. you would think that if i missed blogging, i'd do it more.

with readership down, i guess i could start to gain my audience back.
/insert canned laughter

i'll do what i can.